Forthcoming / Parenting · Practical philosophy
Parenting by Sun Tzu
Parenting Principles Inspired by The Art of War
A thoughtful approach to preparation, boundaries, and cooperation in family life. Thirteen chapters bring an ancient text into conversation with the everyday work of raising children.
Read an excerpt ↓Publication date and ordering details to be announced.
The Growing Tree · Featured title
Turn the book around
Raise a thoughtful child.
Build a stronger bond.
What if the most useful parenting strategy begins before the argument? In Parenting by Sun Tzu, David Shusterman, MD, draws on all thirteen chapters of The Art of War to explore preparation, timing, restraint, and the art of understanding a situation before acting. Through familiar family scenes, he shows how parents can make cooperation easier, hold clear boundaries, and help children develop judgment of their own. The family is an alliance, and the aim is a child ready for growing independence.
- Build routines that ease daily friction
- Set clear, proportionate boundaries
- Understand what drives a disagreement
- Adapt support to the child you have
- Help siblings work through conflict
- Choose the right moment to talk
- Keep anger from setting the response
- Repair trust after your own mistakes
- Invite honesty in difficult conversations
- Give independence room to grow
From the introduction
The person across from you
At seven forty-five, the shoe is still missing. Your daughter has the other one on, your son has remembered a form that needs signing, and someone has poured cereal into a bowl that was already full of water. You ask everyone to hurry. Nobody appears to hear. You ask again, louder, and suddenly the morning has become a referendum on whether anyone in this house respects you.
Nothing about that morning required an enemy. It required shoes, a signature, breakfast, and a departure. Yet within a few minutes you can feel surrounded. Every objection sounds strategic. Every delay looks deliberate. The child who says, “I can't find it,” seems to be saying, “You can't make me.” You begin trying to establish authority when what the family needs first is a workable morning.
This is where an unlikely book becomes useful. The Art of War asks its reader to look beyond the immediate contest: What is the objective? What are the conditions? What will this cost? What do you know, and what have you merely assumed? Is a direct confrontation necessary? What will remain after you win?
Excerpt from the forthcoming book. Text may be revised before publication.
About the author
David Shusterman, MD
David Shusterman is a New York physician, urologist, father, and nonfiction author. His writing explores how people understand difficult situations, make decisions, and take responsibility for the choices within their control.
In Parenting by Sun Tzu, those interests meet the daily work of raising children: understanding the child, responding with self-control, and repairing mistakes.
The reader companion
Explore the complete appendices, source map and seven printable working sheets.